O papel secreto sobre o tabu coligativo

Estamos em condições de poder explicar o tabu sobre o sim ou o não à coligação entre Portas e Pedro. Mão amiga fez-me chegar o "paper" que Karl Rove, por cunha de Rumsfeld, elaborou, graciosamente, para o nosso primeiro e o nosso segundo, e que foi distribuído ontem, nas reuniões do PSD e do PP. O papel, antecedido por minuciosas sondagens, reza o seguinte:

Taoism: Coalition happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "coalition happens."
Buddhism: If coalition happens, it isn't really coalition .
Zen Buddhism: Coalition is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism 2: What is the sound of coalition happening?
Hinduism: This coalition has happened before.
Islam: If coalition happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam 2: If coalition happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam 3: If coalition happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If coalition happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let coalition happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This coalition was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if coalition happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if coalition happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Coalition that happens to one person is just as good as coalition that happens to another.
Unitarian: Coalition that happens to one person is just as bad as coalition that happens to another.
Lutheran: If coalition happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If coalition happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism 2: If coalition happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism 3: Coalition must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this coalition always happen to us?
Calvinism: coalition happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No coalition shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all coalition .
Secular Humanism: Coalition evolves.
Christian Science: When coalition happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science 2: Coalition happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this coalition .
Quakers: Let us not fight over this coalition .
Utopianism: This coalition does not stink.
Darwinism: This coalition was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY coalition .
Communism: It's everybody's coalition .
Feminism: Men are coalition .
Chauvinism: We may be coalition , but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this coalition .
Impressionism: From a distance, coalition looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this coalition .
Existentialism: Coalition doesn't happen; coalition IS.
Existentialism 2: What is coalition , anyway?
Stoicism: This coalition is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good coalition happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this coalition .
Mormonism 2: This coalition is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let coalition happen.
Scientology: If coalition happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock<>
Jehovah's Witnesses 2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our coalition ?
Jehovah's Witnesses 3: Coalition has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy coalition happens.
Hare Krishna: Coalition happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this coalition !
Zoroastrianism: Coalition happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB coalition s.
Practical: Deal with coalition one day at a time.
Agnostic: Coalition might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic 2: Did someone coalition ?
Agnostic 3: What is this coalition ?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What coalition ?
Atheism 2: I can't believe this coalition !
Nihilism: No coalition .